What I Didn't Expect While Expecting Pt.1

I don't necessarily have anything planned for part 2, but I'm quite certain there will be a part 2, and probably a 3, 4 and 5. But for clarity sake, this will cover the first trimester and the first half of the second trimester.

Anyhoo, lets be honest, pregnancy and child rearing is the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest everyday for the type A personality girl. Everything is one big massive question mark. I knew that it would be a toss-up for some symptoms...morning sickness or no morning sickness, fatigue or no fatigue, food cravings, etc., but somewhere in the back of my head I thought I would have it fairly easy. I mean, my mother had four kids in six years and never once was sick. But, she also walked out of the hospital in size 6 jeans after each one of us, so that right there should have been my number one sign that she's part alien or something. But I digress...most of my cousins come in sets of 3 and 4, and my both my grandmothers had 5 kids. I mean, isn't in in my Irish-Catholic bloodline to have easy pregnancies?

Then the universe laughed in my face.

I should have seen that coming.

From week 5 to week 17 I threw up in more places than a hungover college student after a night at an open bar event. I saved plastic grocery bags to store in my car so I could toss my cookies in random locations. I'm sure there are more humbling experiences to come, but this definitely knocked me down a notch or two. Morning sickness was a lie. It was all day, especially between the hours of 2 AM and 4 AM. Also, did I ever tell you that I walk through a kitchen multiple times a day while setting up for events for work? Nothing makes a nauseous pregnant girl feel better than seeing raw chicken and beef being chopped. The hardest part was that no one at work knew for the entire first trimester. All I wanted someone to hug my secretly pregnant self and tell me that I never had to look at raw meat ever, ever, ever again.

Now, maybe the nausea and sickness wouldn't have been so bad if I had some sort of pregnancy food cravings. A craving for anything would have been just awesome. But my body took a more creative, less travelled path and went for full on food aversions. I literally hated all food, except for one thing that my stomach deemed ok for a period of 3-4 days. Which is extra awesome if you have food allergies. After that period ended, the specific food previously deemed ok was relinquished to the "never to be seen again unless you want me to throw up on you" pile. And of course, the food I did want was never easy food like rice pasta or berry smoothies. Oh no it was hard to find, off the wall stuff... like stuffed grape leaves or chicken pad thai with gluten free sauce. Needless to say the husband is quite happy that this phase is over, and our little Mediterranean/Thai child (who seems to have issues with their actual heritage) seems to have developed a more expanded palate.

Also, did you know that is possible if you aren't having cravings for food, to have cravings for really weird stuff? Because I did. All of the sudden I regressed to my 16 year old self, and felt the need to listen to Britney Spears and the Dave Matthews Band. All the time. To the point that I would play the Britney station on Pandora on my iPhone while taking a shower. Some babies hear Bach and Beethoven while in the womb. Mine will come out of the womb knowing all the words to "Hit Me Baby One More Time." Mothering fail. Additionally, I began to hate all of my favorite tv shows, and instead felt an overwhelming desire to watch Jeopardy, Antique Roadshow and M*A*S*H. I have no words for this really, as I'm not quite sure how to describe the fact that I'm a 16 year old one second, and a 60 year old the next. Needless to say, turning 30 isn't looking so bad now.

On to the next topic. I didn't know that by week 16 I'd be sleeping in a recliner instead of a bed. I don't know if it is because I had surgery on both of my ankles when I was younger, because I was on my feet working 80+ events during the month of December, or because I'm a weirdo who was born with hypermobility. What I do know is that something is very, very not right with my hip. For four weeks straight I was up every 15 minutes in excruciating pain. Then I borrowed a recliner from my parents, and now I sleep for 4 hours straight before the every 15 minutes of pain thing starts. I'm not quite sure how to explain the pain, but it's probably along the lines having an abscessed tooth in your hip. I'm seeing a physical therapist, and that has helped some. I'm also trying to get an appointment with an osteopathic doctor that specializes in hip pain. Fingers crossed. Because pain is a gazillion times worse when you are feeling it on zero sleep. If  I could recommend anything, it would be that if you have ever had any sort of back, spine, hip, leg, foot issue please, please, please start doing lots of stretches and maybe see a physical therapist before you get pregnant. I will most certainly be doing this if we are lucky enough to be blessed with more kids.

And finally...oh goodness...pintrest pulled me in with those cute pictures of pregnant girls taking weekly pictures of their adorable baby bumps. I swore up and down I would do that when the time came. So I took a picture at week 4, and then promptly stopped. Want to know why? Because I'm fairly certain that the first 7 pounds I gained went directly to my chest. I literally went up two bra sizes in two weeks. This would be totally awesome if I started out as an A or a B, but for the love, I was already a D. Instead of a cute pregnant belly, I just look like an overweight person with boobs 5 x bigger than my head. I might be able to make this look cute if I had a lot of time/energy/money, but lets be real...I haven't slept in 18 weeks. Looking cute is not on my list of priorities right now. So until my stomach goes out farther than my mega chest, there will be no pictures.

Week 4. Before the Boob-strocity took over. 

Obviously, I am very, very thankful to be blessed with mcnugget, and I'm sure I'll probably laugh about this one day (like 50 years from now), but I figured I'd lay it out there for anyone who isn't having the easiest pregnancy...because you know, it just makes you feel better when you know you're not the only one throwing up in the parking lot of a McDonalds :)