Five Years

Five years. In five years, I've moved three times, welcomed a brother back from war, got married, bought a house, expanded our family with a puppy, had two different jobs, traveled the world, and found out I will be a mother. Five years can fly by, or feel like a lifetime....depending on the day.

Over five years I've worn the t-shirt multiple times and have had the ribbon magnet on two different cars. They both say the same thing. Never Forget. Five years later, I realize that there is a slight irony to that statement. The truth is, I couldn't forget even if I ever wanted to.

Five years ago my home was attacked.  The horror, despair, death and destruction took place within a couple of hours. The events were quickly followed by unending tales of love, sacrifice, heroism, support and hope. The juxtaposition of it all is still a bit hard to process even all these years later.

Five years ago, my view of the world was altered forever. You grow up and learn that bad things happen. That bad things happen to good people. You find ways to try and figure out, compartmentalize, and rationalize when you see those bad things happen. But nothing prepares you for something like this. Five years ago the most evil thing I could ever imagine happened, and a lifetime of thinking about it will still leave me wondering...why? Sadly, there is no answer that could ever properly make sense of this situation.

I used to tell people that living in Blacksburg was like living in a snow globe. You felt so safe and sheltered  in this little town, away from it all, where everyone loves their maroon and orange. It's where I met my best friends, and where I learned to live on my own for the first time. It's where I jumped up and down at football games, and where I devoured coffee ice cream when pulling all night study sessions. It's where I spoke at graduation, and where I was given the opportunity to travel all over Europe. It's where I became who I am today.

Sadly, I'll never know what it feels like to live in a snow globe again. When you experience something like this, its stays with you forever. You've officially seen the worst that the world has to offer, and even though time and life marches on, the memory of it all is always somewhere in your mind.

But carrying that memory isn't always such a bad thing. It makes you more empathetic. It makes you cherish the little things. It makes you more appreciative of the love that surrounds you, because you realize how precious and fleeting it can be.

I am sure over the next few years our unborn baby will make multiple trips to my favorite place on earth. They will watch football games, they will try and eat a turkey leg, they walk around the duck pond, and maybe if they are lucky, they will even get to watch fireworks over the drillfield. They will learn that the appropriate response to, "Lets Go" is a resounding, "HOKIES". And I will pray every day of their life that they grow up safely, and that they are lucky enough to get to experience what it feels like to live in a snow globe.

But one day, inevitably, they will ask me about what happened. Why there are 32 stones with names on them on the drillfield, or why when they look up Virginia Tech online, the word massacre appears. And I will have to sit down and try to explain to them something that I find very hard to explain even to myself.

However, I do know what I will focus on. I will focus on the heroes who sacrificed their lives. I will focus on how people from all around the world reached out to lift us up. And I will focus on what it feels like to be a part of a community that supported each other through the darkest of times, and showed the world that we will prevail. I will focus on what it truly means to be a Hokie.

And I will pray, everyday, that if they ever experience something like this, that they are blessed to know those feelings too.

We are Virginia Tech. We will Prevail. 

Nursery Artwork

While I wouldn't say we went with a strict theme with the nursery (which is sadly still in the same shambled state as it was in the video below), we did want to share our love of travel with our little one. With a bilingual father, a mother who has been to more countries than states, and lots of "adopted" Aunts who have been all over the world (that one is for you Steph & Colette), we're hoping that this baby picks up an immense love for adventure. Plus, travel related artwork is fairly gender neutral, which definitely helps, and we can re-use all of these things in a playroom later on if we choose to do so.

As of right now, here are the prints that we have purchased:

I love you / Italy 

From here

I love you / Germany 

From here

I love you / Ireland

From here

I had a great experience with this seller, and she even matched all of the prints so that we could get them in similar colors. I placed them in the oh-so-popular Ikea Ribba frames, and they look great! 

Because Ryan hopes to do one parent, one language with our baby, I wanted to have some prints that were in Spanish. I ordered the following posters, and hope to order more fun stuff from this shop in a couple of months: 

Spanish Letters Poster

From here

Spanish Numbers Poster

 From here

I haven't ordered this print yet, but I love it so much, I'm hoping to order it soon. Seriously, this shop has so many adorable prints that would work well in nurseries. 

 From here

Additionally, I think we'll try and add a globe or a world map somewhere in the room. We're also planning on hanging some colorful origami cranes over the changing table as a DIY mobile. Hopefully it will all come together soon! 

Real Bo vs Fake Bo

Sometime a few weeks ago, Ryan and I headed on up to Ikea for the Swedish breakfast of champions and some shopping. Mostly because 99% of all furniture will not fit in our bedrooms since our staircase and hallways were built for the itty bitty people that lived in the 1800s. I won't even get into that time when we moved in and had to cut our three month old box spring into four pieces and then put it back together again. Lets just say that furniture that doesn't come assembled is a necessity for our living situation.

So, anyway, we're at Ikea looking for the ever so popular poang rocker and some picture frames, when I come across an oversized golden retriever stuffed animal. I had to have it because obviously this child needs a Bo replica in their nursery. Realizing that there was no negotiating, Ryan just put the massive thing into the cart and off we went.

A few days later as I laid in bed miserably contemplating my hatred for all things sick related, I decided that I needed to have a Bo visit. Normally Bo isn't allowed upstairs, but sometimes I cave in. And he's so good about not coming upstairs, that it takes three whistles to get him to visit you. The first whistle he ignores, the second he gets up and sits at the bottom of the stairs and the third whistle he bounds up in excited glory because he's being allowed upstairs. Then he flys around the bedroom, comes to you for some attention and then lays down in a contented heap.

So I whistled the appropriate 3 times, and was greeted with a very happy puppy. After petting him, I assumed he was laying somewhere on the bedroom floor, and I dozed off. Not five minutes later did I hear this awful growling coming from the hallway. Seeing as how our dog rarely barks, let alone growls, I was really worried. I flew out of bed only to find that someone had spotted fake Bo in the nursery, and was NOT HAPPY about it.

Obviously, we decided to film Bo's displeasure (poor dog):




Needless to say, fake Bo is now in the closet and real Bo is quite happy about it. And don't worry, he got lots of hugs and reassurance that he is the number one dog in our life :)

Why We Went Team Green

This spring is totally kicking me in the backside! Not four days after recovering from the stomach flu did I catch a nasty cold.  A nasty cold, which conveniently turned into bronchitis this weekend (because, as you all know, all the doctors offices are open on Saturdays....). I ended up having to go to a a walk-in clinic (after appropriate pregnant break-down of course), but luckily the doctor I had was super nice (and an OB!...what are the chances??). I'm on an antibiotic now, but still feeling a bit crummy. All I've been capable of doing the last few days is watching NCIS marathons and emailing my friend Steph about bacon related food stories. Can I blame the second part of that sentence on being pregnant? I hope so.

Any prayers you can send my way would be greatly appreciated! I would love to feel like a normal human being again, and I'm sure this baby would love to feel like they didn't live in an earthquake zone. It would be pretty awesome if I didn't have to quarantine myself for the next 11 weeks.

Anyway, I figured I'd tell you all about why we decided to not find out whether our baby is a little boy or a little girl. We get pretty mixed reactions when we tell people we don't know what we are having. People either think it is a great idea or that we're completely crazy. I think either way is fine...you just have to do what is right for you. But in case you were wondering, here are the reasons (in no particular order) we didn't find out...

- Neither of us is super set on having a boy or a girl. I think if one of us felt that way, we would probably find out, but since we're happy with either way, it isn't as hard to wait 40 weeks.

- We also don't have any name issues. We have two girls names and two boys names that we both really like, and we're going to wait until we meet the baby to decide on a name.

- I'm too type A and practical not to have lots of gender neutral stuff. We're hoping to be blessed with more than one mcnugget, and I'm all for things that can be used and (re) used.

- A lot of comments we get are based on concern over us not having enough appropriate clothing. Considering that this kid is joining us in the summer, I'm not too worried about this. I'm thinking a lot of white onesies will do :)  I'm also fairly confident that my shopping addicted sisters will fully take care of all gender related clothing needs within seconds of this child joining the world.

- Even though there are a lot of parts of pregnancy I wish I could pass off to my husband (non-stop morning sickness for 18 weeks, insomnia and general uncomfortableness), he doesn't get to bond with the baby the same way I do. He wasn't the first one to find out that we were about to become a family of 3, and he will never know what it feels like when you feel those first baby kicks. So, I love the idea that he is the one that gets to announce whether we have a son or a daughter. Just thinking about it makes my overly emotional heart melt.

- My mom had four kids and never found out what she was having with any of us. And we all turned out ok! Well, for the most part...

- I think in today's world where so many things are instantly attainable, there aren't many true surprises. And this is one of those surprises that I think will be very hard to top!

So, that was our reasoning. Only 78 more days to go!

That time I Caught the Flu, then Lost My (Snooki Style) Pregnant Mind

Wow. Last week was a whopper. The husband was away on a business trip in Virginia, and it was the busiest work week of the year (my family is in the Irish Pub/Restaurant business). On Thursday night I started feeling a little sick and very achy. At first I thought I must have accidentally eaten something I was allergic to, as these are the same exact symptoms I have when I make an food allergy mistake. If only I had been so lucky. By Friday morning I had the full blown stomach flu (not the respiratory influenza you can be vaccinated for). Having the stomach flu sucks, but having it while pregnant is adds an element of fear to all the other awful feelings. Luckily my aunt is a midwife at the birth center I go to, so she made sure to cheek on me throughout the whole ordeal (I also was staying at my parent's house which was nice...nothing makes going through the flu better than having your mom around to take care of you). The main goal was to make sure that I was getting enough fluids, and I don't think there was a second I was awake when I didn't have a straw of water or gatorade connected to me. I really, really, really didn't want to go to the hospital if at all possible. The thought of waiting in triage while constantly throwing up + the whole fact that I was infectious was enough to make me the most determined person ever to stay hydrated. The worst part lasted about 50 hours, and even after that it probably took another 3 days to start feeling like I could function like a normal human being. Phew, I really hope it stays far, far away from you all because it was no fun!

Later in the week my mom decided that I would heal better at the shore (really, she needed to get away after 14 straight days of insane work), so off to the shore house we went. I must say, that if you have to recover from the remnants of the stomach flu, the shore is a pretty good place to do it. But after a few days of laying around, I started to get stir crazy. So we went to my mom's other favorite place...Marshalls (the one in Cape May if you are wondering). I was hoping to find some loose tops and dresses since summer seems to have come a bit early this year. My mom piled a bunch of stuff into the dressing room that she either thought I would like, or would fit over the bump. That's how I stumbled upon this gem. At first I thought it was just a teal dress, but oh no, in true Jersey Shore style, it has a huge leopard belt. (1) I can't believe I even tried this on and took a picture of it and (2) I can't believe I'm actually going to post this. You can thank my pregnant flu-recovering brain.

 Now I just have to work on teaching the baby to fist pump. 

I hope that picture made your Friday afternoon. Here are some other pictures in some of my more regular clothes: 

 25 Weeks

Almost 28 weeks 

I'm officially a few days away from the last and final trimester. Whoohooo! I figured I would share a few of the things I am loving lately: 

- Spanx Power Mama  

I'm on my feet all day at work, and these help so much. Just having that little bit of support when you are constantly bending over or going up and down stairs a thousand times is a blessing. Plus, I like that they make me feel less lumpy and bumpy when I wear a nice outfit.

- Burt's Bees Replenishing Cocoa & Cupuacu Butters Lotion

My skin gets pretty itchy, and I love this lotion. It seriously lasts all day and doesn't feel greasy or oily. Plus the smell makes me think of the beach. 

-These Tank Tops

I've tried tank tops from Old Navy, Gap and Target, but these are by far my favorites. The material is nicer than the other options, and not see through (like some of the lighter colored Old Navy options). I got them on sale for $12.00 when you buy two (I believe they are probably on sale often). I plan on living in these most of the summer.  

Hope you all have a great weekend! 

100 days

I remember hitting the 100 day countdown mark when planning our wedding. The last 100 days were a blur of activity...bridal showers, bachelorette party, rsvps, seating charts, favors, timelines, etc. It feels fairly similar this time around, minus the whole timeline part. Because you know, this whole thing is going to happen on baby's schedule, and not on mine.

So I do what any obsessive compulsive person does when they have no control. I write lists, and then lists for my lists, and then I revise and update my lists. I'm not sure how much Ryan is ok with this trend, but he's been with me long enough now to know how to deal with it :).

Anyway, the next 100 days are going to be busy. Which I think is a good thing, because it will definitely make time go by a bit faster. We have lots of baby classes coming up at the birth center we are going to, a baby shower, a nursery to put together, and various other housing and other projects to finish up. My goal is to get everything we can get done, done by mid-May. I doubt that there is much that I am going to want to do when it is super hot outside and I am 9 month pregnant, so this is my goal right now. I know I'll also feel better about having things done by this point, just in case this baby decides to pull a "me" and come almost 5 weeks early. I'm sure it is more likely that this little one will be late, but better safe than sorry.

So here's to the next 100 days! We can't wait to meet the little mcnugget and find out if we have a son or a daughter!

Friday Night Bullet Points

This has been a heck of a week...hence the lack of posts. So, here's a quick bullet point update:

- My sleep has diminished even more due to the hip issues I've been experiencing. Before, while sleeping in the recliner, I could get a good 4 hours of sleep before I had to move every hour. Somehow, this seemed to be enough to function normally.  Now there's no rest...just pain every hour on the hour (if not sooner), and zero sleep. 5 days straight of this found me a crying, hot mess, with a husband who had no idea what to do. My midwife suggested benadryl. I've been hesitant to take anything, as this has been an issue since week 15, so it obviously isn't going away anytime soon. I finally gave in last night, but no dice. I didn't sleep any better and felt like a zombie all day. Does anyone have any suggestions? Did anyone else take tylenol or something else for an extended period of time during their pregnancy? Ugh I feel so torn up about this. 

- The only way to describe the pain is to say it is like having an abscessed tooth in your hip. Of course, it only happens when lying on my side at night (obviously, because you know that's how you have to sleep during pregnancy). In the midst of my sleep deprivation today, I came up with the wonderful idea of seeing if I could sleep with an inflatable swim ring underneath my hip. Hence the reason my husband is now driving around Delaware looking for a place that actually sells inflatable swim rings... you know, in the middle of winter. I don't believe this trip is going to end successfully, but I'm super thankful to have a husband who is willing to try. 

- This week, our unborn child was referred to as "ornery" by one doctor and "strong-willed" by another. This whole pregnancy, I've said that I don't care if we have a boy or a girl (I truly don't, which is why McNugget is a surprise), as long as I get a nice, calm Ryan-like baby. Yup, doesn't look like that is going to happen. (I still love every ounce of you baby...even your ornery, strong-willed parts). 

- My mom always said that I was going to be paid back with a child just like myself. She loves to tell the story of the time I cried hysterically for 2.5 hours in bumper to bumper traffic on the way to the beach. Why? Because the bottoms of my shoes were scuffed. Yes, you read that right....not because the tops or sides of my shoes were messed up....but because the BOTTOMS were scuffed. Looks like she's about to get her wish. 

- My husband and VA friends laugh when I say hysterically. They also make fun of the way I say cherry, berry, banana, camera, and family. Liz Lemon actually said, "Do I say camera weird?" once on 30 Rock. I got a lot of text messages after that episode. Love that Tina Fey broke out the Philly accent. 

- There is a station in the area that plays really, really random songs all day long. They also love to play Men at Work's, "Land Down Under" at least 3 times a week. And my unborn baby....stinkin' loves that song. It's like dance party USA in my belly every time it comes on. I'm not really sure what this says about this child. Like will I need to buy Vegemite when it comes time for solids? Do they even sell Vegemite in Delaware? This is obviously something a rational person thinks about.

FYI this is one very odd music video. 

- Speaking of the land down under... this baby is positioned really low. As in I rarely, if ever, get kicks near or above the belly button. On one hand, this means no heartburn or kicks to the rib. On the other, I get frequent kicks *ahem* down below. Trust me, nothing will provide you with a look of shock on your face quite like that will. 

- We're headed to D.C. this weekend to catch up with lots o' friends and eat lots of yummy foods. We're going Oyamel for lunch tomorrow, Jaleo for dinner (as I've heard that the Jose Andres restaurants are good with food allergies), and then Busboys & Poets for breakfast on Sunday (I had the Mekhleme "Iraqi corned beef hash" last time I was there and it was delicious). I totally plan on making up for the 18 weeks of nausea and food aversions in one weekend. Challenge accepted. I'm also super duper excited to see so many friends we haven't seen in a while. Yay!

- On that note, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!